No, no... I think I understand a bit, more then I did earlier here. Well, it's probably not the same for me as it is for you, but... ah, I've managed to form some bonds here that I think are a bit closer than the ones I've made at home.

[ ... Well, he's sure that it is a very short list of people, there and on that list, one of them is dead, but... ]

Plus, if someone died at home in battle, they can just come back, where here its uncertain.