romance and murder go so well together

[capyper]

[ If the colorful posters from Tuesday weren't enough, Yato has redoubled his efforts for today and slapped these up all over the place:



We are admittedly not entirely sure what the heck the catgirl is there for, but she's there. Anyway, in the dining hall this evening, Aqua and Yato have set things up for a group dinner!! All the food is being put on one table; the rest of the room is for mingling and is colorfully decorated in a way that suggests that Yato went wild in the art room at some point and decided what we all really need in our lives is more color and more glitter!!

There's also this piece of paper with everybody's names on it in pairs, and sets of questions (red tab at the bottom of the spreadsheet). That's right, your mystery game is speed-dating and Yato is here to be your cupid for the evening!! ]

Comments

[captainobnoxious]

[The worst that could happen is Sigrun literally on a warpath to romantic victory. She's gonna beat Yosuke, Yato's apparent champion of love.]

Fluffhead, hey! What do you feel most grateful for in life? Besides living!

[isafraid]

[This is truly the worst case scenario. The moment Speedwagon spots Sigrun, love burning in her eyes, he knows where this is going. Truly this is the true fear.]

You're asking me one of those questions, eh? [But they're not... alright, he can roll with it.]

....I guess if I had to think about it, then I'd be grateful for all the people I can call my mates.

[captainobnoxious]

That's so nice! I'm really grateful for the chance to have a vacation, honestly, this place has got nothing on the troll hunts we did last summer.

[A few people dying on otherwise nice weeks? Man, sure beats constant danger and the risk of freezing to death.]

[isafraid]

Trolls...? Don't tell me those are real, and on top of everything else! [Bleh. After the vampires and mermaids, what's next?]

I don't suppose you've had any terrible problems with crossing bridges then, eh captain?

[captainobnoxious]

Nope. They're all in good repair.

[sorry.]

And trolls don't really like living under them since there's no protection from the winter.

[isafraid]

[...] Ah, that's not what I meant. But I suppose you haven't heard the children's tale about trolls then, different worlds and all that.

[Yes, this is a thing we're talking about at a speed dating dinner. Speedwagon's fine with it.]

[captainobnoxious]

I'm sure it applied at some point of time or another, but that's just what the enemy of mankind were called in legends. Trolls, giants, and beasts.

[Sigrun's cool with it too. Good conversation tbh.]

What's the tale?

[isafraid]

[It's a better conversation then what they could be actually having on a speed date, that's for sure.]

Ah... you're from the future, then? Is that right? So you've really never heard the tales of the Billy Goats Gruff then. [huh] It's a fairytale, kind of one a lot of kids know by heart. Three goats are supposed to cross a bridge, and a troll underneath it wants to each each one when they pass.

[captainobnoxious]

Goats are tasty little things. Do they get eaten?

[isafraid]

As a matter of fact, no. The smallest goat goes first, and the troll tries to eat it, but the goat tells it he can eat the bigger goat that's about to cross. So the troll lets him pass and waits for the next goat... and he lets the other goat pass because the biggest one is on their way.

[He waits a second or two. Suspense??]

When that time comes up, the goat is strong enough to push the troll off the bridge. So, in the end the goats were safe and the monster received nothing.

[captainobnoxious]

Why didn't the troll just eat them anyway? If they had manners like that where I came from, I'd be out of a job.

[Or, at least, out of a fun job.]

[isafraid]

Well I can't really say a story for children is supposed to make all that much sense. What business does a troll have living under a bridge in the first place?

[These are important questions we're asking.]

[captainobnoxious]

In the summer months it's to stick out of the sun.

[That's all she's got.]

[isafraid]

Huh. The old myths just liked to say that Trolls hate the sun. Turns them to stone.

[Or something.]

[captainobnoxious]

Can't say it turns them to stone, but they sure as hell don't like it. They keep out of anyplace that gets direct sunlight most of the day, which is why they like the winter more since there's more nighttime for them to crawl around in. It'd be pretty cool if it did though, I'd just kick them apart.

[isafraid]

A well-aimed blow from a hammer would do a lot of good in that case!

[Well, it doesn't look like they're getting back to the whole dating thing just yet...]

Speaking of, you're supposed to be a military captain, right? What's the story on that, and these trolls?

[captainobnoxious]

[Are you kidding??? This is the dating! Sigrun gets to talk about herself!]

I was born and raised in the military. My mom and dad are two of the best generals the Norwegian Army could've ever asked for [so she's pedigree] and I'm following in their footsteps right now. The trolls came about some time ago, nasty monsters with bloated bodies that usually resemble humans 'cause that's where they come from. Humans infected by the Illness become them and it's my job to put them down. I'm the most best ever at it!

[Cream of the crop here.]

1

[isafraid]

done

[isafraid]

That's... quite the story you've got to tell, captain. [And probably not the sort suited for speed dating. WELL] And I thought I'd heard that accent before. Granted I haven't known many Norwegians in my lifetime...

[...But then there's everything else Sigrun just said.]

Wait, you're saying... you hunt monsters that used to be humans? All for a job?

[captainobnoxious]

[Black thought she might've been either Norwegian or Danish and that is a laugh.]

Yup. Usually just clear our the mountain pass and fields around Dalsnes, my home, but we hunt them down in the summer and pretty much make a game of it 'cause if they were human before they sure as hell aren't now. They like attacking us too much for that.

[isafraid]

[Danish was, honestly, his second guess.]

They're bloody humans... [Yeah he's kind of stuck up on that part.] Wait a second! That's just insanity! Fighting monsters like that must take a fortnight!

[captainobnoxious]

Actually, most of them just take a few minutes, if at most a few hours. We've been fighting them for a while now.

[isafraid]

Corr... [Welp.]

Can't say I really envy your situation. Feels a bit like you've got the worst of it right now.

[captainobnoxious]

[See... See, people think that, but Sigrun's really happy to live where she does...]

I guess it might to anyone else. But it was waaaay way way worse back when we didn't know how to protect ourselves from it. That was a long time ago though. [like 80 years ago maybe] It's been getting better.