trusthell | now listen good and listen straight, you're not the master of your fate

now listen good and listen straight, you're not the master of your fate

[Another week, another murder, another absolute shitshow. Tarrlok kind of just wants to lock himself in his room for a while, but... well, he volunteered. So... it's definitely going to be much later in the day before a note advising everyone to meet up in the bar for some comfort food is slipped under everyone's door.

At least Tarrlok didn't have to take care of everything alone, though; while he spent most of the time cooking by himself, Speedwagon and Yosuke helped take some delicious pork buns up to set them out across the bar so that everyone could drown their sorrows in stuffing their faces. And, you know, alcohol, maybe that too. There's also some vegetarian stir fry for people who don't like pork, too, of course.

There isn't an official bartender to start out with, but there is live entertainment courtesy of Yosuke, who's strumming his guitar over in the corner there.

Hopefully someone will step up, because lord knows everyone in the Vault needs a drink right now.]

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[It's into the better part of the night that Sigrun's sick of laying around with just her thoughts (and the occasional visitor), so she tears apart the other rose whip she got and makes a quick trip to the art room to glitter it up before standing beside Mettaton's door, a new weird feeling churning her stomach.

Aw, fuck it, it's just Mettaton.

...

...

Deep breathes. She peeks in at him on the bed, tossing the glittery rose on top of him before leaning against the doorway. Stand your ground. Probably not the best idea of the day, admittedly brought on by tiredness and just a stupid want to hang out again, but this is it.]

You know how I felt last week now. [Even if she wasn't so... that about it.] I... just wanted to, you know. Do that thing. Where someone comes around and says something. Possibly talking about their regret at another thing. That they may have done or said.

[You know. That thing. But not using the words she doesn't feel she need to use.]

[Oh...

Well, that rose is really unexpected, but he'll pick it up anyway; eventually he pushes himself up, crossing his legs idly and just kind of...playing with it a little, because it's easier to do that instead of actually looking at her.

...Goodness, this certainly is glittery, isn't it.]

...I don't hate you or anything, if that's what you're worried about. And I'm not mad - I don't stay angry for very long.

[He really doesn't, either, if for no better reason than noping the fuck out of his feelings is something he's really good at.]

I'm not worried about you hating me! Or... being mad at me.

[... A little about the second.]

But you should hold onto your anger more. Really shouldn't be giving that advice right now. I mean. I just... don't want you not caring about me?

[.... Yeah. That's the bothering thing, and she doesn't move from her place at the door.]

As stupid as I know it sounds.

[...

Yeah, this thing's really sparkly. And fascinating, apparently.]

...You don't have to hover in the doorway, sweetheart.

[... She thought he'd like it but not that much??? She's going to glitter everything she gives him now.]

I didn't want to disturb your stargazing too much.

[But she'll at least step into his room, staring at the door for a moment before shutting it to lean on.]

I'm not going to apologize, because I don't feel like I should, but you don't have anything to really apologize for either except for saying that you didn't care, but... do you mind listening to me for a bit? I want to tell you a story you haven't heard yet.

[Oh, what's this now.]

...Of course I don't mind, sweetheart. Anything you want.

[And that much does seem true, at least, as opposed to forced.]

[Sigrun huffs, taking out the yellow envelope from the trial and reading aloud the text.]

"Sigrun Eide, captain of company 49, returned alone after a short excursion into nearby farmland. Trainees Feliks Valen, Gjerlof Oddvarson, Elfi Sannes, Roda Reinertsen, and Lukas Hauge were felled by a small pack of trolls that inhabited a nest that was thought of dead at Eide's discretion. Their bodies are not recoverable."

[She pauses there, scowling at herself, and shakes her head.]

Biggest mistake of my life. I thought I knew best and got ahead of myself, since it was going into fall and I thought it wouldn't be warm enough to keep the nests from over the summer alive. Hauge pointed out about the heat inside the farm house but I chose not to listen since I was more experienced -- and I was, this was just within my first year of being a leader and many more a hunter -- but... I was wrong and my recklessness got five kids killed.

[... There's an obvious reason she doesn't tell this story to anyone.]

I've been carrying this thing around all week and I know it's not a huge deal to anyone else but me, but that's the point isn't it? That they mean the most to us? [A pause.] Leaders aren't allowed to make mistakes. At least back home. One misstep and... that. Death.

So. What I'm trying to say is that I almost made a really big one today, and while it would've only gotten me killed it wouldn't have been very good for anyone else. And I'll admit that of all the people there, I cared about your voice the most, which I really shouldn't do as a leader, but I can't call myself that when I was so in the heat of the moment. I was just Sigrun. I guess.

[Feelings are so tough. It doesn't help that all her words sound stupid and sticky.

This is... usually where you'd put an apology too, to say sorry for being so reckless, but she just said she didn't feel like she had anything to apologize for so she really shot herself in the foot there huh.]

[Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. He's fine with the notion that she isn't sorry for being reckless earlier; he isn't sorry for last week, either. There are some things that just aren't going to be argued, and that's...fine, really.

But he listens to that, and he doesn't interrupt, he just kind of...remains quiet, really, until she's done with all that.]

What matters is that you stopped. And if Sigrun is willing to listen to me when the leader isn't, then...well, it's probably terrible, but I can't really say that I mind that notion all too much.

[... That gives her inappropriate flutter feelings. She's absolutely punching her stomach to get them to stop, laughing in pain.]

Ah-- Then, uh, good! Yeah. Sigrun will continue to be the way Sigrun is. Even if the leader part of her should've been in more control and just spit at the person instead of letting Sigrun threaten bodily harm.

[Damn that sounded dumb. Whatever.]

So... I should go then. Since I'm really tired and stuff. [Even if she's not moving. She wants to staaaay.] Should totally go to bed. I said what I wanted to say.

[Yup. Not moving. Just twisting the stupid secret in hand.]

[...Oh. Well, that's. Disappointing?

...

...Maybe she's kind of having a moment, he sort of had a moment with Bruce earlier so maybe it's like that- ]

It's not like I'd throw you out if you wanted to stay for a while.

[nailed it.]

Scoot over then, I want to stargaze with you.

[Since it's like, surprisingly nice to sit/lay with Mettaton. She's gonna fucking eat her secret by the way. Nothing gets rid of past failures faster. It tastes as gross as you think it might.]

[...Oh my god, Sigrun, you are the reason he wonders why humans don't all just die sometimes, given the things you people put in your mouths.

That said, though, he'll move over easily enough, and he'll lie back properly again; he likes this sort of thing, all right.]

Come on, then.

[She is also the reason he should believe in humanity, since apparently nothing kills her.

Sigrun's too happy to join him. It's kind of one of her favorite things to do besides touch his soul. And they've only done that once...]

I'm probably going to fall asleep in here, just so you know. I really am tired. But also not at the same time.

[...Where exactly is "receiving an airsoft gun" on that scale, through curiosity.]

If you want to talk until then, sweetheart, that's fine by me. I don't sleep, but it's not like I'm going anywhere until morning anyway.

[It's not even on the scale. It's so far above it it can't be seen by mankind.]

I keep thinking you must get lonely just being up by yourself all the time. Do you?

[...

okay he said we could talk but talking about feelings is cheating- ]

...Sometimes.

[well. will you look at that, an honest answer.]

I'm used to having something to do late at night - back home I'm always performing. I don't really have much time to myself, and I like it that way. You're never alone when you have an audience.

[wow

she actually got an answer out of him.]

And I can't even offer myself as that, since I'll absolutely fall asleep during something you're doing.

I'm pretty much the same way though. Always busy, never alone, even at night I was surrounded by snoring people that'd wake a troll's nest in a second flat. It's too quiet here even now.

[Even like, a month into this. It's still weird.]

And like hell I'm sleeping with my door open. I'm not going to be the next victim, that's for sure.

Of course not, especially not after what just happened to Megumi.

[...But that involves thinking about goddamn Norman again, and he'd prefer not thinking about goddamn Norman again.]

I can stay with you until you fall asleep sometimes, though.

[Yes, let's not think about goddamn Norman.]

I wish your hair was real.

Do you, now.

Yes. I feel like I should pet it, but petting metal is not half as fun as you'd think it'd be, which isn't fun at all.

[Her issue.]

Most people don't get to be close enough to pet me at all. So you're one of the lucky ones!

How close do people usually get to you?

It depends on the person! I make a point of getting to know all of my fans and viewers that get in contact with me, at least a little - it's important to me to remember as many of them as I can. I know all of my employees personally, and sometimes I'll spend time with people during downtime.

But usually physical contact isn't part of the deal.

[The only celebrities she gets are "local" ones (like herself) and she does that kind of stuff too, but physical contact is always part of the deal. Mettaton's a darling otherwise though.

... He's also getting Sigrun to put her hand on his face. Just. On the cheek.]

I feel so special right now.

So was that the first time someone kissed you too?

room 13..........

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