[His tone remains pretty calm throughout, though he's shifting a bit too much for it to look natural.]
I don't really do deep feelings, and I cut people off at a moment's notice the second they stop doing what I want. I knew it would hurt; of course I did. But I guess...I don't know. I thought you would kill me and then move on from it.
I don't mean that you'd just forget me or anything. But once I was dead, maybe it wouldn't hurt anymore. People have always been disposable to me, and I hold myself to the same standards I hold everyone else! I can be sacrificed just as easily as my relationships can, remember?
[...]
I didn't do it to hurt you. I did it because I just...loved you, that's all. I didn't really think about it, because I didn't expect to love you as much as I did, and I told myself that I could still kill you and it wouldn't matter even if that was a lie, and if I didn't kill you then it'd be the other way around and you would be fine.
no subject
[His tone remains pretty calm throughout, though he's shifting a bit too much for it to look natural.]
I don't really do deep feelings, and I cut people off at a moment's notice the second they stop doing what I want. I knew it would hurt; of course I did. But I guess...I don't know. I thought you would kill me and then move on from it.
I don't mean that you'd just forget me or anything. But once I was dead, maybe it wouldn't hurt anymore. People have always been disposable to me, and I hold myself to the same standards I hold everyone else! I can be sacrificed just as easily as my relationships can, remember?
[...]
I didn't do it to hurt you. I did it because I just...loved you, that's all. I didn't really think about it, because I didn't expect to love you as much as I did, and I told myself that I could still kill you and it wouldn't matter even if that was a lie, and if I didn't kill you then it'd be the other way around and you would be fine.
[.........]
It's meaningless to apologize for it, isn't it?