And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you.

[neverheardofhim]

[This week, Varric opted to take a page from Vanille’s book. Gathering everyone together after the roller-coaster that the first trial had been proved to be somewhat cathartic for himself. He hoped that it would prove to do the same for the others.]

[He wasn’t alone, of course, having found himself blessed with the most ragtag team of chefs and party-planners. He might have had words for and thoughts on Elda and Kimbley, Mikazuki was welcome company, and he wasn’t about to turn away potential allies, even in a fight as simple as cooking dinner.]

[Once everyone’s set to a task, baking a cake, brewing tea, or stirring stew (the only task Varric could think to assign Elda to), Varric excused himself to his room. His first task was writing up cards, each personally titled and signed by Varric.]

Food in the Library. 5 p.m. Don’t spend the night alone.

[Each note was slid under a door and accompanied by a single rap on the wood.]

[With his tasks completed, Varric returned to the kitchen to put out any potential fires and, with luck, set the food out. A table in the library would be adorned with plenty of tea, cake, pancakes courtesy of Viktor, and stew thanks mostly to Varric (sorry, Elda).]

Comments

[elepe]

[Not seeing Vanille at the party was...surprising, if not understandable. She took Alani's death very hard, and it feels so lonely without her being there. But...if she's doing this, she must need to recoop, and Lusamine is somewhat proud of her for that.

It's a little bit later when she comes by, but she has Clefable knock softly on the door while bringing a tray of food from the party. It only feels fair, after all.]

Vanille?

[ravagers]

[ Heck, more food can never hurt. Vanille's not crying as much by the time she opens the door, and when she sees Clefable, she can't help but smile.

(It's a very watery smile, though.)

She looks up at Lusamine after a moment. ]

Aww... you didn't have to bring me anything. [ Her voice lacks any pep, and there's a long pause before she moves to open the door a little more. ] ... But thanks. D'you want to come in?

[elepe]

It's only fair that I do the same for you, after you have done so for me. You look like you need something.

[Lusamine will come in, though, Clefable toddling in behind her. The latter sticks by Vanille until she finds where she wants to go, though--she seems cool, and she seems like she could use the help.

Lusamine doesn't quite put the tray down yet, not wanting to mess up anything in Vanille's room.]

And I can't say I blame you for wanting to avoid the hubris.

[ravagers]

Oh... thank you.

[ In all honesty, there's not much to mess up; she's been staying with Varric the past week, but there are a few items of note around; there's a rainbow-colored crystal on her desk, for one.

Vanille closes the door and gestures to the desk. ]

You can put the tray there. [ She appreciates Clefable's sticking close to her, and it'll get a little pat on the head. ] Erm...

[ ... well, she does feel comfortable around Lusamine, so. ]

I feel... kinda guilty, you know? There are people who're suffering more than I am...

[elepe]

Understood.

[On the desk it'll go, then!

And...hoo boy. Guess it's a good thing Clefable's over there to help, this sounds like a bad time.]

Why, exactly, is their suffering so much more important than your own? [...That might not be the best way to ask, but--] I'm not asking to be rude. Is there a reason you put everyone else's above your own?

[ravagers]

[ ... Oh. Well. Vanille hadn't been making that a secret, but for some reason, she's still surprised Lusamine caught on. Or maybe it's because she's so blunt about it. ]

Um... [ ... This is harder than it was with Varric. Maybe it's best to be vague? She doesn't know. Her head's all messed up. ] Well... Because... they're my friends, and I don't want them to be sad.

[ ... It's a weak excuse, and she knows it. ]

[elepe]

[It struck Lusamine that way, at the very least, and her hands go on her hips.]

And just because they're your friends, it suddenly makes your own pain moot?

[ravagers]

[ ... Got her there, Lusamine. Vanille hesitates, then looks down. ]

When you say it like that... sounds kinda silly, huh...

[elepe]

...It's not silly, sweet Vanille. But it is reckless.

[Lusamine sighs.]

This is why I was worried, you know.

[ravagers]

Reckless...

[ ... She can't argue with that. Vanille sighs and looks up at her. ]

I guess you were right. I'm... I'm really sorry for worrying you.

[elepe]

Vanille...

[Clefable takes this as her cue to hug Vanille's leg, and Lusamine sighs. Just. Give her a moment--]

You're forgiven, but you must learn the value of being selfish every once in a while. You can give everything of yourself, but then what are you left with at the end if you have nothing? All that will be left is feeling empty. Lost, when your efforts feel insincere at best and insultingly pitiful at worst.

Your pain is just as important as anyone else's. Your struggles are as well. The things that are happening to you are not suddenly any lesser. And they never will be. Help people, do as your heart desires, but do not forget yourself in the process.

[ravagers]

[ Aw... Clefable gets a gentle pat to the top of her head. ]

When you say it like that... it sounds really easy. [ She lets out a quiet sigh. ] I wish it was easy, to do all that. [ Vanille hesitates before nodding. ] But... I'll try. I'll try my best, so I don't worry you or-- or anyone else.

[elepe]

...Good. That's all I can ask of you, but I want what's best for you. I don't want to see something happen to you.

[...that reminds her, let her just. Get out of the way so Vanille can actually have what Lusamine brought in for her, oops.]

You're the most trustworthy of us, Vanille. You remind me of someone I knew, once.