And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you.

[neverheardofhim]

[This week, Varric opted to take a page from Vanille’s book. Gathering everyone together after the roller-coaster that the first trial had been proved to be somewhat cathartic for himself. He hoped that it would prove to do the same for the others.]

[He wasn’t alone, of course, having found himself blessed with the most ragtag team of chefs and party-planners. He might have had words for and thoughts on Elda and Kimbley, Mikazuki was welcome company, and he wasn’t about to turn away potential allies, even in a fight as simple as cooking dinner.]

[Once everyone’s set to a task, baking a cake, brewing tea, or stirring stew (the only task Varric could think to assign Elda to), Varric excused himself to his room. His first task was writing up cards, each personally titled and signed by Varric.]

Food in the Library. 5 p.m. Don’t spend the night alone.

[Each note was slid under a door and accompanied by a single rap on the wood.]

[With his tasks completed, Varric returned to the kitchen to put out any potential fires and, with luck, set the food out. A table in the library would be adorned with plenty of tea, cake, pancakes courtesy of Viktor, and stew thanks mostly to Varric (sorry, Elda).]

Comments

[firstaid]

[So since yesterday. She had given him space yesterday because she didn't know how to approach him. Now she wishes she had if he hadn't been eating. Then again, would he have been able to? Emotions can mess with ones eating habits and, well, he may not have felt like he could keep anything down after that. In any case, she holds out the plate of food to him. There's also eating utensils on the plate as well.]

Here, please eat. If you don't want this then I can grab something else. I... I can even make something if you want. Just... eat something.

[Going that long without food isn't good for anyone.]

[deofoled]

[ Well, there's really no point in refusing food that's right in front of him. He'll take the plate, looking at all of the food on it.]

This is fine. You don't- don't do anything else for me. [ With that said, he starts on the pancakes first. The first bite is slow, but it seems he actually is pretty hungry because he starts to eat much faster after that.]

[firstaid]

[This feeling of being pushed away, she knows it all too well. The circumstances are completely different from the other time she experienced it at home, but her reaction is the same. Stern and stubborn is what she's going to be right now.]

It's okay to rely on us at this time, Killia. I... I honestly don't even know or understand the hurt you're going through, however, please... let me help you. Even if it's just getting you food or bringing you a book or... or I don't know. Just don't isolate yourself, please!

[She takes a breath.]

I'm your friend, Killia. And friends help each other.

[deofoled]

[ He just eats as she talks, moving on from the pancakes to the cake. Munch, munch, munch, it buys him time until he has to respond. And when he does, he just kind of blurts out the first words that come to mind, rather than an evasion like he typically does.]

My friends wind up dead.

[firstaid]

So you believe that if I become your friend that I'll die as well?

[Her voice is unusually level. There's no concern but there's no fear or emotion of that sort. If anything, she's calm.]

[deofoled]

I didn't know Christo that long before coming here.

[ It's not a direction answer to her question, but he can't bring himself to answer correctly. In terms of demon time, it was paltry the amount of time that Killia knew him. But they were still a group, hell the only reason they were actually the Rebel Army was because of Christo. Without him, Killia would have just left and never looked back.]

Before that, the only person I was close to was... [ He can't finish the sentence, so yeah he's back to eating cake again.]

[firstaid]

[Even if he didn't know him for that long, it was clear that loosing a comrade hurt a lot. Not eating for a day? Looking like he was shutting down? That anger? Yeah, she refuses to believe it hardly affected him.

Estelle will reach out to touch his hand. Can she promise she won't die? No... even she's not that naive.]

Let me be your friend. At least for right now. Or, how about this. I'll consider you a friend and take care of you like one. You... don't need to feel the same in return. I just want to ensure you're in good health.

[deofoled]

[ He doesn't draw away from her touch even if he feels like he should. And while she speaks he closes his eyes, trying to sort out all the thoughts in his head. The food helped more than she could know, it helped him focus on something else other than the cold anger he still felt. And with his anger abated, a memory comes bubbling up to the surface.

There was something he was so close to throwing away, that he shouldn't. ]

No, I can't accept that. If you're going to, I should try... [ The word is mumbled, nearly whispered.]

[firstaid]

[Estelle smiles gently, happy to see he's calmed down some. Of course, she won't ask he immediately return to normal -- in fact, she's rather sure after this he won't. And it's okay. Her hand doesn't move from his, instead hers tries to wrap around his to hold his hand in a bit of a comforting gesture.]

Don't force yourself. [Is it altruism seeping through her? Or is just the selfish need to feel like she's needed and useful? Who knows. Either way, she's decided she's going to do what she can to help.]

Do you want anything more to eat? Varric made some stew and I can get that. Mikazuki also has tea brewed.

[Her voice is gentle, if a bit prodding.]

[deofoled]

[ It's not done consciously but he actually squeezes her hand back a little. He doesn't know why he's not telling her to leave, though he tells himself he can't find the energy to do so.]

Some stew wouldn't be bad. [ He could use some meat, what with not eating the past 24 hours. As for the tea, he's sure Mika will find him eventually, so he'll pass on that for now.]

[firstaid]

[Her smile does grow a little wider when he squeezes her hand back. Good, she's glad he's not pushing her away (even if trying to do so would be futile). However, it does make this easier as opposed to arguing why he can't be left alone especially right now.]

I'll get you some stew, then. [She gives his hand a squeeze back before she leaves.

And she's gone a considerable amount of time. Checking in on others, getting distracted by other things before remembering she was supposed to get stew for Killia. Finally, she does so, coming back to his room with a bowl of stew. Naturally, she knocks first to let him know she's there before entering.]

Sorry it took so long. I admit I got distracted by other things, but here's the stew as promised. [And she holds that out to him, the bowl of stew with a spoon in the bowl as well.]

[deofoled]

[ There's no sounds coming from his room this time, though it looks like he's taken the time she was gone to tidy up a bit. He really hadn't been in a right state of mind this entire week, but the food has cleared his head a little. Besides, he didn't do waiting around too well.]

You don't need to stick around. [ He starts to eat the stew right away, enjoying it. It's not dragon stew, but it'll do.]

[firstaid]

[Almost as if in reply to statement, she kneels on the floor, her dress flowing around her as if a flower had bloomed.]

It's okay. I'll stay here with you for a bit.

[For a moment, she studies his room and his expression as well.]

You look like you're doing a little better now. I'm glad.

[deofoled]

[ The imagery isn't lost on him.]

The food...helps.

[ And then he's silent for a while as he eats, but he keeps looking back at her and the way her dress is spread across the floor.]

Have you ever heard of a flower called Liezerota?

[firstaid]

[She lets out another quiet 'I'm glad' as she continues to watch him eat. This week has not been kind to him. The motive, losing a friend to this horrible, horrible place, she can't even imagine what all this feels like. Nor does she want to.

Though hearing that name, she tilts her head a bit in curiosity.]

Lieze...rota? I can't say that I ever have. What kind of flower is it?

[deofoled]

[ For his sake, next week better be less disastrous.]

It's a yellow flower with five petals. In the Netherworlds it's highly sought after, but it's pretty rare.

[firstaid]

Yellow? Oh wow it sounds like it would be a beautiful and bright flower. Do they always have five petals?

[Shes not sure if it's uncharacteristic of him to talk about flowers, but it's definitely solidifying her opinion that he is a kind and gentle person.]

[deofoled]

They are beautiful.

[ A beat.]

I've never seen one that had anything but five. But when I was traveling where they grew, I didn't pay much attention.

[firstaid]

Oh, so you've seen a field of them? Wow a field of yellow flowers sounds so majestic.

[She can't even begin to imagine how wonderful that looks.]

[deofoled]

They grew everywhere on that world... it was stupid of me to ask, I'm sure you have different flowers in your human world.

[ But it's clearly nostalgic, and cathartic for him in some way.]

[firstaid]

It's not at all silly to ask.

[She smiles at him, even giggles a little bit.]

Is that flower important to you?

[deofoled]

[ He can't bring himself to answer, but he does manage a barely noticeable nod. It's something he wants to talk about and doesn't at the same time, so it's difficult. If he was better at conversation he'd just try to change the subject, but he can't even manage that right now. So instead he focuses on finishing the last of the stew.]

...thanks.

[firstaid]

[She notes he doesn't answer her question audibly and instead a nod. Another time and another situation she would prod further. However, given the situation she doesn't. Instead, she nods at him and holds out her hand to take his empty bowl.]

You're welcome. Here, I'll take that to the kitchen.

[deofoled]

[ Another nod as he hands her the plate.]

You should go back and hang out with the others. I'll be fine.

[firstaid]

I believe you will be fine as well. Though if you need me, you know I'm next door.

[Just an offer from her as she offers him a smile.]

Take care of yourself, Killia. I will come check in you tomorrow. [And with that, she leaves.

Also spoilers: she may not be in good spirits to check in on him....]