[ They should make an Unrequited Feelings club. (Or maybe not because...little does she know...) ]

I see...

[ She remembers that Rangiku talked to her about something like this before. Not the same situation, but about comparing yourself to others-- ]

I think it's normal to feel that way, though. You...really cared about her, so it sounds like you just got jealous. But you're realizing all of this, and that's what matters, isn't it? It shows that you have a kind heart. And...when you go back home, you'll have your chance to make things right.