What I did happened because I was a kid given too much power on the front lines of a civil war, and because I'm a fucked up person who only gets pleasure from killing people. I'm not going to try to make excuses for it, because that's not my style.

But I was also given an artifact of power that I shouldn't have been given that definitely didn't help, and at one point sometime later they tried to rip my soul out.

[...]

And while we're here, that only applies to the genocide and the other things I did during the war. When it comes to my actual secret...I didn't do any of that. Or at least, I don't remember it, and it doesn't sound like anything I would do. Silver and I figure that could have been my superior officer's fault, I was just involved by proxy. It said I was involved in a conspiracy to do all those things, not that I carried it out myself.

Like I said, I just wanted to get you guys off of Kira.