trusthell | and it takes, and it takes, and it takes

and it takes, and it takes, and it takes

[It... definitely takes a while for the weekly after-execution note to arrive, but it does --- kind of scrawly and on ripped paper rather than nice stationery.]

EY. YO. WE GOT EFFIGIES IN THE DINING ROOM AND WE'RE GONNA BURN EM.

FOOD TOO. THE USUAL AND HOT COCOA. GOOD FOR THE SOUL. GET SOME. MAYBE TAKE IT BACK TO YOUR ROOM IF YOU HAVE TO. JUST GET SOME.

[Anyway, in the dining room, there's plenty of mugs set out, with a janky looking arrow sign pointing into the kitchen to where you can get your hot cocoa. On the table, there's Vichyssoise, a pot of green tea, and some booze. There's also a cookie tray on the floor away from the table on which to burn the Wordsmith and Kimbley effigies, which are handily placed near the food on the table.

...also if you go in the kitchen without shoes on just. Watch the northern corner. There's no kidneys, but there's a lot of broken plates there for some reason...]

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[With the hand on her arm apparently not doing a damn thing, Varric settled for something else entirely. He wrapped his arms around her, hand settling up between her shoulder blades and against the small of her back. It was a slightly awkward hold, their heights considering, but not nearly as bad as the times he'd comforted or been comforted by Hawke or Lavellan.]

Hey... none of that. He pressed his cheek against her shoulder, fingers rubbing comforting circles into her back.] It's... it doesn't do any good to get caught up in the should haves.

[Her voice hitches as she sobs, arms going around Varric. Awkward, yes, but it's alright.]

I-I told them to take care of each other...!

And they did. It's... it's not ideal, I know, but... [He squeezed her tighter, but it did nothing to ease the helpless feeling in his chest.]

You were good to them. And they appreciated that. They could have done a lot worse than you, Feather.

[Her shoulders shake and with every catch of her cries, it's more noticeable.]

But I- I can never save them when they need me!

None of us can. [He leaned back, fixing a sad gaze on her.] I wasn't there for my best friend when she died. I wasn't capable of understanding what another friend was going through when he needed me. It ended the same way -- fire and death.

Sometimes... Sometimes we can't be what they need at the end. We just... have to take solace that we meant something all along. [It was what he was trying to do, at least. He'd made Blondie laugh a few times. He'd taken care of Hawke when she had no one else. That had to mean something in the end, right?]

Edited 2017-02-19 06:56 (UTC)

[None of us can.

She can never save them. That's...what Chiyuki really told her, wasn't it? You can never prevent tragedy...you can just do what you can to make it less horrible along the way.]

I- I miss them...I'm going to miss them.

I know. That's normal, Feather. [He reached up a little higher, holding her cheek long enough to brush a few tears away. Even if more replaced them, at least an effort had been made, right?] l

If you miss them, it means you remember them. If you remember them, then they're not gone. Not really. It's why I value that book of mine, the Tale of the Champion. It's a memory of a lot of people we lost.

[She misses so much...]

I-I... [She nods, and starts to wipe her own tears as well.] I will always...always...remember them. No matter what.

I know you will. You're a good woman, and you're taking on a lot. [He let out a small breath as his hand lowered, settling against her side instead.] What you do for everyone... taking on their sins.

I admire you. It's... selfless. It's something I could never do.

[She leans, gently, against the counter, still close, but giving herself a little space.]

It was all I could do, for so long...and I don't know how to do anything else. [That's one way to put it.] I just...I have to. Who else will?

I don't know... [He eased back, allow her just a little bit more distance. One hand settled back at his side, while the other attempted to seek out one of Hanyuu's. If he managed it, if she let him, he'd give it a squeeze.]

Just... promise me something. No matter what happens, tell me you won't ever stop.

That...is the one thing I can promise you.

[She sniffs.]

...I-I really didn't think you it. [Back there, when she told Watanuki to be truthful.]

[A thumb circled the back of Hanyuu's hand. He glanced up at her, offering her a smile, wider than he'd managed of late.]

I've told this to Sunshine and Goldie before -- the evidence was there. Motive too. I'd rather you pursue it and find out you were wrong than not pursue it and wind up dead.

I... told Kimihiro this but... I would kill, if it meant saving someone I cared about here. And if I'd known what Kimbley was doing, that could have been me down there in that pit.

So... by all means, keep following that. Just in case... [He trailed off.]

[She's quiet for a moment, taking in what Varric says. She's unable to return his smile, but she squeezes his hand back, after a moment.]

I pray it won't come to pass like that. I pray with everything in me, but...I will. Whatever happens, I will...pursue the truth.

But please...try not to do so. It would hurt so many...to see you down there.

I'll do everything in my power. Just like I promised Goldie. [The smile he offered her attempted to be a comforting one, but it didn't last all that long. More troubling thoughts churned within his head, and he shifted uncomfortably.]

If it were to happen though. Can you promise me something, Feather? Promise that Goldie and Sunshine... Bubbles and Princess -- all of those kids that I've been taking care of -- promise you'll keep watching over them like I've been.

As long as I'm here, I will watch over them all. I swear to you.

[...She already wanted to, so it's no chore for her. Each one of them she wants to protect, in her own way.]

I...can finally do something. I won't let that slip through my fingers.

Thank you. You're a good woman. I trust you with this, more than anyone else.

[Finally he released her hand, instead turning to look at what she had been making. He lifted a brow at her efforts, then glanced back in her direction. There was a curious look on his face.]

You need any help with this?

[So much trust... She doesn't say it's a mistake, but she can't quite wrap her head around it. Above everyone else?

She lets out a breath and glances at the in-progress cream puffs.]

A-aah... I was almost finished, with this batch... I think I can handle it, genuinely. ...It makes me feel close to him.

Alright, I understand. [He eased back, resting against a cabinet. He kept his eyes trained on her, making sure she was still stable, able to function without his guidance.]

Mind if I watch? Everyone keeps talking about these things but I've... never seen them made.

[She can stand, and move, though her eyes are still a little watery. It's a little too much to expect anything other than that right now, but she's working with it.

She nods.] They're my favorite food. ...Gold taught me to make them, our second day here.

Gold was a smart kid. And I bet he loved teaching you. [His smile was sweet and sad.] I bet he loved you, period.

[...]

I...I hope he did.

You don't have any reason to doubt that, Feather. You're kind and nurturing, just the kind of person a kid needs.

If he loved anyone, he loved you. And Vanille, apparently but that's different, isn't it?

Silver.

...I know, no matter what...he loved Silver.

[It sounds like she appreciates that though, in whatever way she can.]

I'm not in the business of pointing out the obvious, Feather. That's just bad writing.

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