I still regret every word, that day, I never said

[matchbreaker]

[ This trial was a mess. Hard on everyone, filled with conflicting emotions, and the twists and turns in it made it unsatisfying for everyone involved. That's probably become the norm at this point though! As have the gatherings in the aftermath of them. This time around the letter comes under everyone's door fairly quickly into the evening, following only a short delay for those organizing it to get things together and console themselves enough to be presentable. ]

Come to the dining room if you want to be with people. I will have board games, cards, food, and drink. We also will be writing letters to the dead, if you want to do that around others.

- Elda, Hanyuu, and Mikazuki

[ The dining room's set up is once again fairly simple. Hanyuu broad board games, Elda brought some rpg books though she doesn't expect anything to come of it, and there are a lot of envelopes, paper, and pens from the mail room. The mail room's going to close tonight, of course, but most of the letters will probably be written privately anyway. Elda just wanted people to be sure they knew they could.

Food wise, there's grilled meat and fish, rice, cream puffs (all Hanyuu!) Mikazuki's tea (both black and green!) and Elda's ... spicy fries. Some of them are more mild! However, the mild ones are covered in sugar so uh... that's probably not better. Either way, have at ]

Comments

[oyashiromama]

[auau.exe is restarting....

There's a lot swimming through Hanyuu's head right now. A lot that's been there...since Tuesday, really, and a lot since before. While it feels like this has just been sprung on her, out of the blue, it also feels like this is something she already was aware of.

I hate God. But I love you, Hanyuu.

She'd said that to her...hadn't she? When Hanyuu was drowning her sorrows, trying to feel what Rika had. She'd said that, and since then... I love you. I love you. I LOVE you, it had just seemed commonplace and natural, and she could barely digest it, or anything, other than her own pain, and then newfound strength.

Everything, so fast, again and again, and the last time...

"Hanyuu! What's wrong?"
"You say you love me?!"
"Yes!"
"I didn't think...you could be so horrible as to make a joke of all this...!"
"Hanyuu, wait!"

...It's literal lifetimes apart. Eternities.

It isn't that long before Hanyuu collects herself, but it must feel like it. It does to her. She...ends up...]

I... For how long...have you felt this way? Do you know...?

[Her voice is gentle. And it's...a little shy, in a way Elda probably hasn't heard before.]

[foundfate]

[Well that works for him. Hugging is a go, then! And unlike with the others, he isn't quick to let go either. He'll hug her until she pulls away from him, since he's trying to be reassuring and all.]

[foundfate]

She did, which is why she deserves the peace of mind.

[matchbreaker]

[ Elda continues to bite her nail until Hanyuu speaks. And when she does, she all but jumps out of her skin. comically wide-eyed for a moment until she rights herself. ]

I... I.

I... don't.

[ she is forced to admit that. ]

... I did not consider that it could be so until... Until very recently. I - I had resolved to tell you, when I saw Lusamine so boldly make her statement.

It... I suppose. I suppose in retrospect I can say I may have had a budding realization earlier in the week. [ A beat ] ... Though I know, especially for aged ones such as us, love ought not to arise so unknown and so rapid.

So.

... So I do not.

[sportadork]

I've liked the cooked fish here! And back home, the kids were always trying to make things for me... It's just not something I need to do.

... Also, my airship doesn't have a kitchen. It barely has a table.

[oyashiromama]

[we all love you sportacus never change]

I... You know, I... I think...you look very nice...without a hat, if I may say so...?

[foundfate]

[He just scoffs at that.]

I definitely don't have a crush on him. And even if I did it would be pointless, he's really popular and can have literally any girl at school that he wants. Plus I think he's interested in Himawari anyway.

I don't fight with people I like, Silver. And I don't like guys in general. You and Gold are the exceptions to that.

[And 'like' is stretching things a bit at that. The feelings he has for Gold and Silver are extremely confusing and mixed up and not much like what he feels for Orihime, who he genuinely does like like, so. It's complicated.]

[matchbreaker]

[ . . Elda nods. And she (sorry Phi) is going to project something into what she writes next ]

Duty could grind even great women into dust, the weight of their responsibilities, that unknowable burden - even such a burden they volunteered to bare - made them troubled. And ironically, free of such troubles, the woman wasn't sure where life might lead her.

But that, in and of itself, was the beauty of it. She didn't need to be a savior, and she had no charges to answer to.

Freedom was almost blinding, in that regard. And she wanted to be blinded by it, to savor every drop of it she could take in upon herself.

[elepe]

I'm surprised, really. I feel like everything I know is a lie after trying them. The spice is really what makes them so interesting and--

[Lusamine rambles way too much, and Silver scores that hit directly! Critical hit!

...Lusamine's actually not sure how to respond to that at first, but eventually settles on a smirk.]

...Oh, I will get you for that one. Mark my words.

[But for now, time to indulge in the past time of crying women everywhere; a fuckton of ice cream. God damn this shit is good.]

Absolutely delicious!

[matchbreaker]

[ Airship... ]

... You truly do live a splendid life, don't you?

[sportadork]

Thank you! [grins sheepishly, runs a hand through it] I've got awful hat hair.

[no it's wavy and perfect and i hate him.]

[foundfate]

[The sad thing is, he doesn't even realize that it's projecting.]

Perfect, I bet she would love it. Let's go ahead and hang these up, then.

[sportadork]

I've always really liked it. So far it's been going pretty good. [except for the whole kidnapped to murder school thing.]

1/2

[oyashiromama]

[...]

You know... I, ...my first time...I could remember...speaking to anyone, in centuries, when I woke up here. My first...times interacting with people. I know now that's not the case, but...I was so entranced, by all the humans...by the acceptance. By anything, any glance or smile... And it all swept me away, like...like an endless tsunami.

[She's looking at the cards, shuffling through them, backside up.]

And...I think, along the way...I started to feel something, for a few people, you know? [Like she'd let slip, the other day.] But, aah... ...The ones I was conscious of, and unconscious of, I...stamped down. Because I... I had Rika to return to, or...I am a god, or...we'd all just die, anyway, so what did it matter? [...] Or they had...other, better options.

Th-that's not to say- aah, one, or another, or- anything was better, or worse, I just- every time, I'd think of indulging myself, with anything, I-I'd be snapped back.

[She shuffles faster, looking for something, but how can she tell, the cards are all face-down...?]

[matchbreaker]

[ She nods, slowly. And then languishes her fingers over towards his ears ]

Sportacus, never have I suspected you at any trial.

2/2

[oyashiromama]

But now, I...

This past week, I-I've...had a revelation. A renewed... A renewed sense of self, and, I... I've found...

[Ah. There. She pulls a card out. Its top right corner's folded in, and it has several distinct scuff marks and scratches.]

I'm not sure if...what I feel can compare t-to...a confession like that. I've had just several days to examine anything, with the idea of- of a future, b-but, aah...

[She turns the card over.

It's the Queen of Hearts.]

...I find myself...thinking a lot about you...and about how I would like to, with you...explore a future, Elda Marker.

[elepe]

[...that's interesting to hear. If anyone, she always expected that Elda would be the most unbending of them all. Miracles do exist.

Even so, Lusamine nods her head.]

Come to the kitchen with me, then. I hope you are not afraid of knives.

[...it may turn less into 'teach Elda to make a salad' and more 'let's take some fucking aggression out on some vegetables because fuck you that's why', but. She'll help Elda up if she needs it.]

[introspects]

[ thank you, watanuki. thank you. she's so grateful to have him in her life, not only as her boyfriend, but as one of her closest friends, too.

the thought of vanille's death will forever linger in the deepest depths of her mind, on her growing list of regrets that she's trying to hard to break away from. but...being held by watanuki brings her a little more peace, a sense of calamity that she only feels around him during moments like these.

it's why she buries her face in his shoulder, holding vanille's letter tightly in her fingers.

softly, almost hesitantly, she whispers: ] ...I love you, Kimihiro-kun.

[sportadork]

[legit just does not notice.]

I told Gangrel once, that if I ever killed anyone by accident, there wouldn't need to be a trial. I would just admit it right away. [grins] The Wordsmith would have been bored, I think.

[matchbreaker]

[ Her heart races the whole time Hanyuu speaks. It's beating so fast that she's certain, certain hat she must be starving to death. That she must have somehow broken through the Wordsmith's barrier on her abilities and her blood affinity was acting up.

... But she knew that couldn't be the case. Because what Hanyuu and her were up to right now, it was so comically youthful, wasn't it?

James - James, that silly old man, he would approve of this. She knows he would, he was too good for her and always had been. A true gentleman, a roguish dream. She felt like she was in a dream all over again. Some beautiful thing she almost - no, certainly will, later - feel guilty comes in the aftermath of what must be one of the worst days of another friend of her's life.

Hanyuu. HANYUU. Hanyuu. Her heart thuds with her name. A chorus erupts from within, and she finds herself smiling. A wide, amazed, gentle smile. Warm, nostalgic and heartfelt. she reaches over, not sure if she was meant to take the card or not. Or maybe just Hanyuu's hand. But... ]

Hanyuu...

[ When did tears get in her eyes ]

... Let's. Please, God, let's.

[elepe]

...I appreciate your kindness, Hanyuu.

[She's gonna keep reaffirming this until she gets it to stick, dammit. But...she's looking at that crown Gangrel left for her, and the gems on her outfit. ...Hmm. She picks up the crown gently.]

Could I ask for your assistance, then, in helping me wear this? And...if you can, tell me about the woman this belong to. Emmeryn, I believe. If you can, of course.

[oyashiromama]

Oh no, I think it looks quite perfect! [us non-humans with our

fucking flawless unnatural hair] ...and...your ears as well, I... I had no idea.

[matchbreaker]

[ Elda's... Honestly, there's a lot of unpack, more that she hasn't said to Lusamine and perhaps more that should be said to Lusamine. But for now, before anything else, she is the woman's friend. She is the woman's friend and if tonight goes well and she can reclassify a certain someone the way she hopes she can, Lusamine will be her best friend here.

... So.

What's a little aggression and some disturbing notes as compared to that? ]

... I will tell no one of your escape plan, by the way. There's no need for them to know.

[ She said, getting up and heading out with hr. To the kitchen ]

[matchbreaker]

Honestly, from what I can tell of that man, he might find it fascinating.

[ Elda --

Makes to grab one of his ears.

Lightly. ]

He's biased towards humans, but we're fascinating additions to him, I think.

[foundfate]

[And there it is. Watanuki had been waiting to hear those words, but he had figured that he would be waiting for a while. She had said that she wanted to be sure of it before saying them, after all. He thought that they would be back home, or off doing whatever adventures they were meant to have after leaving this school, maybe a few months or years older even, before he heard that. And honestly, he was fine with it. He was fine with waiting.

But hearing her say that now, it catches him off-guard. He takes in a sharp breath and holds it, like he's expecting a 'but' to follow it. And when it doesn't come, he finally speaks up again.]

You're sure?