I still regret every word, that day, I never said

[matchbreaker]

[ This trial was a mess. Hard on everyone, filled with conflicting emotions, and the twists and turns in it made it unsatisfying for everyone involved. That's probably become the norm at this point though! As have the gatherings in the aftermath of them. This time around the letter comes under everyone's door fairly quickly into the evening, following only a short delay for those organizing it to get things together and console themselves enough to be presentable. ]

Come to the dining room if you want to be with people. I will have board games, cards, food, and drink. We also will be writing letters to the dead, if you want to do that around others.

- Elda, Hanyuu, and Mikazuki

[ The dining room's set up is once again fairly simple. Hanyuu broad board games, Elda brought some rpg books though she doesn't expect anything to come of it, and there are a lot of envelopes, paper, and pens from the mail room. The mail room's going to close tonight, of course, but most of the letters will probably be written privately anyway. Elda just wanted people to be sure they knew they could.

Food wise, there's grilled meat and fish, rice, cream puffs (all Hanyuu!) Mikazuki's tea (both black and green!) and Elda's ... spicy fries. Some of them are more mild! However, the mild ones are covered in sugar so uh... that's probably not better. Either way, have at ]

Comments

[firstaid]

[She's never told Hanyuu, to be honest. When they talked, either Hanyuu was comforting her or the other way around. Never has she told the god about her burdens.

But there's no doubt, Estelle's surprised by her actions. After first she thinks she's going to get hit as she reflexively backs away, but then she realizes the vampire is holding her hand...

It takes her a moment to comprehend, but she realizes... Elda talked about the same thing. Her race dying. Estelle... basically just said that about herself, didn't she?]

I... just want to be with my friends. I don't want to hurt them. Either here or back home on Terca Lumereis. Before I left the castle, I had no friends so... back home those I befriended mean everything to me. As those I've befriended here.

[matchbreaker]

[ Elda nods. She doesn't understand, of course - how could she? - but she continues to squeeze the girl's hand. ]

You won't. You couldn't hurt me if you tried.

[ Does that mean they're friends? ... Not really. ]

Girl, you might be noble, but you needn't carry the trappings of that. We'll work out a place for you. Or well, I'm sure Kimihiro will, if you ask. I'm sure the others will do all they can, if you allow them. And as for me- [ She leans in, her fangs bared. ]

Don't you ever call you or yours a poison to my face again.

[firstaid]

[Even if Elda doesn't consider Estelle a friend, Estelle does consider Elda a friend.]

I...

[Ah... Estelle gets it now. Elda is very much like Yuri in that sense.]

I promise. I'm sorry.

[matchbreaker]

Good.

[ ... And then she lets go for her hand.

... But then makes to pull on the back of her head in an agile movement, to bring Estelle's head into her (Elda's) chest. If she completes this movement, she's going to stroke the back of the girl's scalp gently.

This isn't as natural as it was with Silver, but. ]

And don't apologize to me, Estellise. You owe me nothing.

[firstaid]

[...ah. It's been a long time since she's been held like this. Perhaps the last time was when her mother was alive. So long ago. It... really takes her back.]

Even so...

[She smiles.]

I once said back home that it was 'Okay if I have to die.' One of my friends, he said that he never wanted me to say that ever again. You... reminded me of him.

[matchbreaker]

[ First Kimihiro, now her. She resists the urge to snarl, instead putting that energy into continuing the gentle motion of her long nails - sharp, if Estelle's ever seen her use them, which she has, cutting the button - against the girl's scalp. Elda shakes her head, humming some ]

Well it seems he's got a good head on his shoulders. It's not okay. Why do you think all of the ones we've thrown int the pit have struggled, in the end?

[ ... Well, maybe not Alani. But hey, details ]

[firstaid]

[Yes, she knows those nails could be deadly weapons if they wished to be. Either way, it is calming.]

Because despite their sins, they wanted to live.

[That's all almost anyone wanted to do here-- just live.]

[matchbreaker]

With how our trials end, I suspect many of them pushed their own names during the voting. Or it they did not, they had accepted death before going in the pit, at least one some level.

[ . . . ]

And yet despite that, they fought against what they accepted.

[ She... keeps holding Estelle, and finishes with: ] It is the right - no, prerogative of all who live try to keep living. Somehow, and that instinct ought not to be denied.