I have a dream that I want to fulfill with you...

[tsugomori]

[ Well, that was an extraordinary trial to have... it was certainly filled with many things that wouldn't be lost to the memory of most, even for weeks to come. Although, the return to "normalcy" could be something that wouldn't seem like it was wanted, it was better than the alternative to returning to anything at all.

With ease, Mikazuki find himself setting up the usual party in the usual place-- that would be the library of course. Notes have been slipped underneath the doors of others, or hung up on the walls to alert them of this post-trial "celebration" -- which was more like a get-together of some sorts now than a real party. ]


Please join us in the library again. Of course, food and drink will be provided.

- Mikazuki, Orihime, Hanyuu, & Estelle

[ The food and drink has been set out, what with there being tea, vichyssoise, cream puffs, and fish for everyone to enjoy. ]

Comments

[alchemicals]

Nothing in particular.

[The answer is prompt, immediate, but he doesn't look over at her; the words are more than a little blank and mechanical, and it's clear that he's just...doing things with his hands right now, rather than trying to think or process too much.]

[ravagers]

[ She walks a little closer; not so she's in his personal space, but close enough so she can look at whatever he's got going on. ]

You know, I've never even heard of most of this stuff. [ She'll point to a container. ] What is it?

[alchemicals]

Most of them are some sort of stable compound or another. You can get different reactions by mixing them together. That one's lithium chloride...it can be used for a lot of stuff. It can be used to color fire, though, it makes it a really nice crimson color.

[...]

I'm not going to mess with the sodium azide or anything, but it looks like it restocked. I'm not surprised at all, just kind of irritated.

He mixed it with the cold pack, by the way. There's ammonia in there, if you break it open - that's what some of the fluid is.

[He'd known exactly what that was used for during the trial, in other words, and it had nothing to do with injuries; he just hadn't said anything.]

[ravagers]

[ ... oh. ]

So-- so anyone could use it again? [ That's a whole new level of messed up, and Vanille's visibly unnerved... almost verging on distressed? ] And we can't take it out, either, since it'll just get refilled...

[ She shakes her head. ]

How's that work, I wonder...

[alchemicals]

I don't know, but I'm not surprised. I dumped the poison out last week, too, and it's back in here along with everything else.

[ravagers]

I expected the food to be replenished and all, but this stuff... [ ... ] I don't expect filing a complaint will do anything.

[alchemicals]

It's here so we'll kill each other with it. Almost everything in this building is.

[He's not meaning to snap at her, not really, but he's irritable and today is just...

...It's just.]

We're not going to accomplish anything he doesn't want us to. We're going to die in here.

[ravagers]

[ There's a lump in her throat. Not from his snapping at her, or anything, but...

She shakes her head. ]

I can't die here. Not when I've got something important that only I can do, back in Nova Chrysalia. [ Not for the first time, she's serious, and it shows. But it's rare for Vanille to look so determined. ] And I believe we all can make it out of here. You don't have to agree with me, and I don't expect everyone else to... but it's what I believe.

[alchemicals]

[Her determination is just met with more agitation.]

I'm sure other people had things to accomplish, too. You're not the only one here with goals and some kind of life back home. I don't have anything, but I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority.

[ravagers]

I know. I know I'm not the only one who has something to do.

[ She shakes her head. ]

The people who died, they shouldn't have. None of us-- should've come here. And I know thinking like that won't change anything! [ ... ] But... that's why we've got to work to get out of here. Maybe that's naive of me, but I'm not going to give up on anyone.

Not even if they think they've got nothing left.

[alchemicals]

Whatever you say, Vanille. You think that about Kira, too? That he doesn't deserve this shit?

[ravagers]

[ Welp.

Her shoulders slump. ]

I... He did a lot of awful things. [ ... that's not answering the question, and she knows it. A long pause, before, quietly: ] ... He got what he deserved.

[alchemicals]

Yeah, and I've done worse. The only reason you guys are on board with keeping me alive is because you don't want to go to a trial and you don't want to feel guilty when you have to vote for whoever takes me out.

But dying here would be me "getting what I deserve", too. You can't pretend that it's not.

[ravagers]

I don't want anyone else to die! Not because I don't want to go to a trial, or because I'd feel guilty or any of that. I don't want anyone to suffer anymore, because they've seen someone they care about die.

I can't tell you how to feel. All I know is even if you've done bad things, I don't want you to die, either.

[alchemicals]

If you say so.

[...]

I've had it with this place. I'm done.

[ravagers]

... Mm.

[ People dying. The motives. The shadow creature. Getting to know someone, then realizing you really don't know them. It's all exhausting. Throw in those dreams, and Vanille's ready for it all to stop.

She'd give anything to see the sky again. To see Fang and Lightning, and Sazh... ]

I'm tired of it. Of him trying-- to play this is a trust exercise. Of getting rewards for surviving Fridays. Of dreams I never asked for.

[alchemicals]

Join the rest of us.

[jesus christ.]

Look. After all of Kira's bullshit today, I'm not in the mood for people trying to tell me that they care about me, for reasons I'd hope would be obvious, and I'm not in the mood to try to talk about how miserable things are, because that is doing the polar opposite of helping. If you've got something to talk about that is neither of those things, then fine, I'm here to listen to it, but right now? I'm only going to deal with so much.

[ravagers]

[ ... yeah, she deserves that. She's quiet a moment before, ]

Well... [ um ] what's your favorite chemical? What's it do?

[alchemicals]

[...Holy shit, Vanille, you tried. It gets him to lighten up a little, though, at least. So that's good.]

...I work a lot with nitroglycerin. It's easy to make if you know what you're doing, and my alchemy lends itself pretty well to creating it out of whatever's lying around.

It's an explosive chemical, used in bombs.

[ravagers]

[ she tries so hard. ]

Do they use it in fireworks?