i feel the love, and i feel it burn, down this river every turn

[oyashiromama]

[The trial, as usual, was taxing. It's for different reasons every week, but what it all comes down to is there are fewer of them than there were, and that keeps on happening. The note comes, as it always does, earlier than last week, but still with some delay. There's a note slipped under everyone's door. ...One under Gold's door because of course Silver will be staying there, she knows.]

Please come to the dining room, if you would like not to be alone. There will be food, and there will be some cards and board games if you need a distraction.

- Hanyuu & Elda

[True to that, there are a variety of foods. It's nothing too fancy. Rice, grilled fish, eggs in various styles. ...No creampuffs this time, it seems Hanyuu thought that would be a little in poor taste. Also a bunch of fries? ...Really spicy fries, like incredibly so.

On a far table, board games brought from the games room have been left out, along with many decks of cards.]

Comments

party

[oyashiromama]

[Hanyuu's been so busy with the party, but Watanuki's one she's keeping an eye out for, so the moment she sees him, she walks over and places a hand on his arm.]

I'm sorry.

[foundfate]

[At least by that point Watanuki is able to smile again. Even if it's clearly just meant to be reassuring, and he doesn't feel like smiling at all.]

It's alright, really. I'm fine.

[oyashiromama]

[Watanuki... She lightly pulls him into a hug.]

You don't have to be.

[foundfate]

I-

[Well okay, hugs are happening then.]

I'm fine, really. It would have been better for him to live through this, but it's not the last time I'm going to see him.

[Because he's going to take Varric home, one way or another. He made a promise to him, and he intends on keeping it.]

[oyashiromama]

That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I know from experience, Watanuki.

[foundfate]

...

[Well, she does know, so he's not really going to fight that. Hanyuu might even be able to feel him sort of sink down a bit into that hug.]

I just don't really want to cry over it anymore. I feel like I'll turn into sand if I do.

[Did he spend all afternoon in his room crying his eyes out as he sad-cleaned everything? Yes. Yes he did.]

[oyashiromama]

[Yeah, she kind of figured he had. She holds him, tight.]

You'll stop, eventually...but I can't say it's any better. That you are carrying on to begin with...is so much.

[It's telling that it looks like she hasn't cried as much this week, despite still adoring all who died.]

[foundfate]

What else can we do? We'll all die if we give up. There's no time to let grief take over.

[He would hate it more if others died because he was too busy being sad.]

[oyashiromama]

I...

[She can barely keep herself together. How...?]

...You have to understand...that's an admirable thing. To keep fighting...even when it's painful. You ask what else you can do, but...giving up is an option. Yet you don't. And I think for that, you are so strong.

[foundfate]

[He shakes his head. He's not strong, he's just a weird kid who's trying to survive. But instead of saying that, he says something else.]

You're that strong too. You're still moving forward.

[oyashiromama]

I'm... I don't know about that. I'm...more stuck in place.

[...]

I meant what I wrote, the other night. You know?

[foundfate]

...I know.

[He. He really feels glad for that too.]

[oyashiromama]

You are...very important to me, Watanuki.

[So...]

I want you...to never give up.

[It's not what she said to Rika. Because she can't, not anymore. She can't say this.]

Never...let your heart die. Please.

[foundfate]

...I won't.

[He doesn't understand the significance of that statement, but.]

I promise you, I won't.

[oyashiromama]

[Well. Then-

She gently pats his arm and pulls away, just a little. Her cheeks are a little colored.]

Then I- ah, I will keep on...trying too. [She did it again, dumb pronoun mixup. Boku but then back to watashi.] Varric...he told me to look out for the rest of you should...anything happen. And I don't want...to let him down.

[foundfate]

[He heard that, you. And he remembers the pronoun mixups from before too. He makes a mental note to ask about that later.]

Well I guess it's good that you look out for me already, then. It's not too much extra work for you.

[oyashiromama]

And I always will. As long as I'm able.

[No, no one can ask her about her personal problems she will not- no let's not even joke]

Aah...and...you and...Orihime will...take care of each other too...?

[...she hasn't asked about that yet, but-]

[foundfate]

...ah.

[That's a perfect distraction to keep him from asking about her problems, because he gets very easily flustered any time the topic of 'him and Orihime' is brought up.]

I. Yeah. We will.

[oyashiromama]

[HAHA SCORE NICE DODGE no really, she gives him a fond smile.]

I was hoping...something good came from all of that, you know? You both deserve that sort of happiness.

[foundfate]

I...

[He looks away, sadness taking over his face.]

It doesn't feel right, not after what just happened. Maybe later it will, after we've left here and had time to heal from it all. But right now, it feels like it's too soon.

[oyashiromama]

[Her hand finds his arm again.]

In a world surrounded by tragedy, we have to take hold of whatever happiness we can, and enjoy it while we can. No one...would want you to be miserable if you have a chance for a tiny bit of that...right?

[foundfate]

Probably not, but.

[He misses Varric.]

There's people no longer here, people I would've wanted to tell about this first.

[oyashiromama]

...

[Her hand finds his.]

I know...he would be happy for you. And I know...when we find out how to write back to them...you can tell him yourself.

[foundfate]

[He will go ahead and squeeze that hand back.]

He would probably tease me. 'Can't even wait until I'm cold, Goldie?' Or something like that.

[oyashiromama]

He wouldn't let it end. Every letter, there would be a reference to it...followed with how you'd better be treating each other right.

[That's just the kind of person Varric was.]