i feel the love, and i feel it burn, down this river every turn

[oyashiromama]

[The trial, as usual, was taxing. It's for different reasons every week, but what it all comes down to is there are fewer of them than there were, and that keeps on happening. The note comes, as it always does, earlier than last week, but still with some delay. There's a note slipped under everyone's door. ...One under Gold's door because of course Silver will be staying there, she knows.]

Please come to the dining room, if you would like not to be alone. There will be food, and there will be some cards and board games if you need a distraction.

- Hanyuu & Elda

[True to that, there are a variety of foods. It's nothing too fancy. Rice, grilled fish, eggs in various styles. ...No creampuffs this time, it seems Hanyuu thought that would be a little in poor taste. Also a bunch of fries? ...Really spicy fries, like incredibly so.

On a far table, board games brought from the games room have been left out, along with many decks of cards.]

Comments

[foundfate]

Is Rita your...friend?

[Maybe girlfriend but he's not going to presume.]

[firstaid]

Yes. I met her when I escaped from the castle and she was my first female friend my age I made. She... means so much to me. As do my other friends.

[But it's been hard without Rita... And Yuri... and Flynn...]

[foundfate]

Ah...yeah, it's hard without friends here. I mean, I wouldn't wish this place on any of my friends, but I do want to see them again. So I understand the feeling.

[firstaid]

It is. And... making new ones is proving to be rather painful.

[But she's used to loneliness. Perhaps... it's just best she go back to that.]

[foundfate]

It is, yeah. But at the same time, it's better than being alone. After everything that's happened here, I don't think I could go back to the way things were before.

[firstaid]

[Estelle is silent...

...right...

Fight...

Survive...

"It's okay if I have to die? What the hell was that? I don't want to hear that again."

Her mind is swirling to many places, however, those three things are definitely prominent right now.]

I suppose you are right. As painful as this all is, having this support has helped tremendously as well.

[foundfate]

It really has. That might be why you were fated to come here: to learn to trust and rely on others.

[firstaid]

I... I do trust others...

[But he's right. It's difficult to rely on them at times.]

[foundfate]

[He doesn't quite know Estelle's past well enough to call her out on that, but he can tell she's not being completely honest, so.]

I sure don't. In general, I mean. Why do you think my title is 'Independent'? I always try to do things by myself. Sometimes it's because I don't trust others to help me, sometimes it's because I don't want them to get hurt for my sake, but regardless of the reason the result is still the same: I always get myself in trouble because I'd rather do things myself than try and trust others to help me.

Maybe that's why I'm here: to stop doing that so much.

[Another hint for Estelle: even if your faults are hard to talk about, it's important to acknowledge them and learn from them.]

[firstaid]

...I just don't want to be a burden on others, so... I don't try to rely on too many people.

[Her profile even says it in her dislikes. She hates being a burden so she's been trying to do things herself.]

[foundfate]

I can understand that. I feel the same way too sometimes. But please remember, it's not a burden. Okay?

[firstaid]

[She nods weakly.]

Okay... I'll try to remember that.

[foundfate]

[Well, it's a start. They can keep going from there, another time. Watanuki smiles warmly.]

Thank you. Trying is all I ask for.