i feel the love, and i feel it burn, down this river every turn

[oyashiromama]

[The trial, as usual, was taxing. It's for different reasons every week, but what it all comes down to is there are fewer of them than there were, and that keeps on happening. The note comes, as it always does, earlier than last week, but still with some delay. There's a note slipped under everyone's door. ...One under Gold's door because of course Silver will be staying there, she knows.]

Please come to the dining room, if you would like not to be alone. There will be food, and there will be some cards and board games if you need a distraction.

- Hanyuu & Elda

[True to that, there are a variety of foods. It's nothing too fancy. Rice, grilled fish, eggs in various styles. ...No creampuffs this time, it seems Hanyuu thought that would be a little in poor taste. Also a bunch of fries? ...Really spicy fries, like incredibly so.

On a far table, board games brought from the games room have been left out, along with many decks of cards.]

Comments

[tsugomori]

I suppose so...although I don't think I have many ambitions.

But.. back when I was just a spirit who could only watch things happen, one of my Masters had been betrayed by two of his supposed allies, who killed him.

[ Mikazuki did agree with what he's said, but even knowing this, all that time...

He looks down at his hands...

Was that going to be the end for him as well? But, even if it does happen ... he remembers the memories he's shared, some of which were very precious to him. He looks up at Gangrel, recalling that silly incident where he wore that outfit. It was enough to make him almost smile, if not for what had just happened. ]

Ah well...if I hadn't befriended anyone, I wouldn't have had a chance to have those wonderful times with you, Killia, and the others. Even if it's really hurting right now.

[plegia]

...The pain doesn't stop. Not really. But your experiences are important and as long as you remember them... I think that's important, anyway.

[He's bad at this and he'll always be bad at this, but he understands, sort of. A long time ago he had people he cared about and they died. And he's grown close to some of the people here too - Alani, Kimbley, Gold, and now Killia. Each of their deaths hurts in a way he hasn't felt in over a decade.

He hates it, but Mikazuki's certainly experiencing something worse.]

[tsugomori]

Yes, yes...that is true.

[ Mikazuki folds his hands in his lap; lot of these experiences were ones he'd never want to forget. Not even the most painful ones. Though, he releases a shaky sigh of sorts.

He is a little afraid for the future, but after today (its hard for him to be positive now) he will have to try to look forward again. If he can.

He falls quiet for a moment,... it's been a long day, but he manages to give Gangrel a tired smile. The most he can manage. ]

[plegia]

[...]

You know you don't have to pretend around me. I don't expect you to be able to smile after everything that happened. If that's what you want to do, then that's fine, but you don't have to pretend for my sake.

[It's blunt as usual, but it's... kind of an attempt?? Gods, he's so bad at this.]

[tsugomori]

...Ah... really?

...

[ Mikazuki's smile then drops right then and there as he then stands up off of the bed, and comes closer to the other man. It's painful trying to pretend, so it's a relief that someone doesn't want him to, and raises a hand to rub at his eyes. He'll at least try not to break down and cry again (although if he does, he thinks Gangrel wouldn't blame him, so maybe it might be fine).

He already knows Gangrel did so much for him, so he didn't want to be a burden. He stops a little nearby from the other man, and then raises his hands out, for a hug, tentatively. He's prepared to draw his hands back, though, at the first indication the other man doesn't want them to do anything like that. ]

[plegia]

[...Mikazuki... Were this anyone else and were this anywhere else, he'd absolutely refuse. Hell, he'd probably refuse if the situation was any different, but as it stands Mikazuki probably needs the contact. He doesn't really have any reason for giving it beyond "you were nice to me and I kind of like you" but sometimes that's enough to get you to do something a little outside of your comfort zone.

He awkwardly pulls Mikazuki in and pats his back (careful of his nails, of course). The entire thing is hella awkward, but he's kind of trying.]

You're damned lucky I have a soft spot for you.

[...not that it's gonna stop him from being tsun about it.]

[tsugomori]

[ He's honestly relieved the other man allowed him this, so he will take this moment while he still can and hold onto him tightly in the embrace. He's ... really needed this badly, and he's the type of person that likes physical contact so it helps by like a lot.

So, at this point... may as well get it all out; there are tears that begin to fall once more. There are just so many emotions running through him. Sadness with a mixture of gratefulness. ]

Thank you, Gangrel...thank you...

[plegia]

[Huffffff. The things he does for you. He suffers so much!!!

But it's not like he's going to try to stop Mikazuki, he'll just awkwardly pat his back for awhile.]

You're welcome, I guess. Don't you dare spread word of this to the others.

[tsugomori]

[ There's another one of those sniffles. ]

... I promise, I won't.

[ Mikazuki almost can feel himself smile at his words.

Even now, the way Gangrel is seems to be something welcoming to him, which may sound strange, but it is what it is... ]

[plegia]

Good. The last thing I need is for you to sink my reputation like this.

[...his reputation of being a tremendous asshole??? why are you like this, gangrel.]

[tsugomori]

[ Mikazuki smiles a little... although this time it isn't so much forced even if it couldn't be seen at the moment. ]

That would be a terrible thing, wouldn't it?

[ He pulls back a bit. ]