I still regret every word, that day, I never said

[matchbreaker]

[ This trial was a mess. Hard on everyone, filled with conflicting emotions, and the twists and turns in it made it unsatisfying for everyone involved. That's probably become the norm at this point though! As have the gatherings in the aftermath of them. This time around the letter comes under everyone's door fairly quickly into the evening, following only a short delay for those organizing it to get things together and console themselves enough to be presentable. ]

Come to the dining room if you want to be with people. I will have board games, cards, food, and drink. We also will be writing letters to the dead, if you want to do that around others.

- Elda, Hanyuu, and Mikazuki

[ The dining room's set up is once again fairly simple. Hanyuu broad board games, Elda brought some rpg books though she doesn't expect anything to come of it, and there are a lot of envelopes, paper, and pens from the mail room. The mail room's going to close tonight, of course, but most of the letters will probably be written privately anyway. Elda just wanted people to be sure they knew they could.

Food wise, there's grilled meat and fish, rice, cream puffs (all Hanyuu!) Mikazuki's tea (both black and green!) and Elda's ... spicy fries. Some of them are more mild! However, the mild ones are covered in sugar so uh... that's probably not better. Either way, have at ]

Comments

[firstaid]

Oh wow...

[To connect them is so cool. She draws and places an ace of space on the 2.]

Like this?

[matchbreaker]

See, you're getting it!

Now, if it wasn't clear: whoever wins is whoever deplete their hand to nothing first.

[firstaid]

Oh, so the goal is to get rid of your hand.

[She nods as she discards a card.]

[matchbreaker]

Yes! And then in a more complete game, you'd play a few hands, with what you have had left when the other goes out counting against your score.

[ She'll pick up that discard, actually, to play a new set of three ]

[firstaid]

How does scoring work? I presume you want a lower score based on what you are saying.

[matchbreaker]

Mmhm! If you win a hand you score Zero... Or some versions score based on what's on the table before you, but it is altogether easier to score Zero. And then what's left in your hand counts against you.

[firstaid]

I see... I'll have to try to eliminate my hands by following the rules, then. [She has six cards left so that might be a challenge.]

[matchbreaker]

[ Elda's down to three! Or four I lost count w/e she's winning a little ]

Mmmhm. And be careful what you discard.

[firstaid]

[All that matters is that Elda is winning.

Estelle draws a card and... oh! She'll put down an 8-9-10 run of clubs.]

Oh, here we go!

[And she discards a card.]

[matchbreaker]

[ Oh dear, we're getting near the end!

Draws!

... Plays a jack and a 7 off of her run.

And then discards. ]

[firstaid]

[She draws a card, no, nothing she can play so she discards.

She's staring pretty intently at her cards and what's on the field. It seems the strategy gets tougher as time goes on...]

[matchbreaker]

[ Draws.

... Ugh. Discards. ]

So, Bubblegum. Where're your emotions at, now?

[firstaid]

[That's... a question she's not so sure how to answer...

She draws a card and just stares at her hand.]

I... I don't know. I feel like I should be sad, but... I'm not.

[Phi and Vanille are dead and she rather liked them, but with Gangrel-- she has no hard feelings. She was upset with him with the trial last week, she tried to apologize and instead things seemed to get worse. Part of her thinks she should feel guilty, but she doesn't.

It's her lack of emotions in regard to this that bugs her.

That she was... fine with this trial. She's disgusted with herself, truthfully. And as she's thinking this, her brows furrow as if she's really thinking hard on this. A girl who usually wears her emotions on her sleeves and she can't figure them out. It's rather telling.]

[matchbreaker]

[ Now there's a unique perspective. Elda wonders how many people here can truly say they feel the same way. Gangrel, for all of that man's many, many faults had touched the hearts of a handful of their handful. Phi, she suspected, also had a handful (including herself) who are actively missing her, and Vanille... She suspected more than most are missing Vanille.

Still, the immediate concern has to fall on the murderer, not the victims. After a trial, it always seems to, with the possibly exception of the trial of Yoshikage Kira.

... Elda smirks. ]

Do you feel vindicated?

[firstaid]

Vindicated?

[She falls silent again, thinking on that. For a moment she looks at her cards, then looks away. Deciding it best she does something, she discards, and it's a card that could have gone on her run. A Queen of Clubs, but she doesn't think of it. Honestly, she doesn't know what the face cards represent anyway.]

...I... I suppose I do in a sense.

[She sighs.]

That likely makes me an awful person, but... I can't shake that feeling at all.

[matchbreaker]

[ Elda isn't kind enough not to pick up the Queen, which would ensure her victory with the next discard. But she also doesn't play it immediately. ]

It's not a feeling I share. But then, many of us have had different reasons to mourn at different times. To me, this trial and its aftermath is significantly more sad then when we banished Killia to the pit. But you - obviously you cannot agree with me in that regard, can you?

[firstaid]

[Estelle doesn't really think anything of it. She stares at the Queen she picks up and realizes she could have played it, but instead, she is more focused on this conversation.]

I honestly really can't. I... last week was... awful.

[matchbreaker]

[ . . . ]

Last week was a week that, should my night go the way I hope it will, I'll remember fondly for the rest of my days. [ She smiles, spinning the two cards in her hand ] That is not to say I was not sad when Tethras passed, that I did not have unfulfilled talks I wanted to have with Viktor or Killia, or that I did not have other hardships. I still worry about that memory I received. No, rather, other events from the week have conspired to make something special for me.

[ . . . She laughs. ]

Conversely, I very much doubt any save me have any sympathy for Ushiromiya.

[ That's not true, she knows, even as she says it. ... She is certain Hanyuu must. ]

[firstaid]

[Memories, huh? Hers... have hardly been kind to her as she just looks down at her remaining hand.]

Elda... if we are able to escape-- [She sighs... No, she shouldn't burden anyone else with her memories.]

--never mind. My memories... I suppose they are something I need to deal with on my own.

[Or maybe with the few friends she actually trusts. She doesn't really know.

Being here-- it's made her so lost. She hasn't felt this way since she first escaped the castle.]

[matchbreaker]

[ Sharply: ]

No, speak your mind, girl.

[ . . . ]

There are only twelve of us left. That's few enough I can consider you all mine. We are all a community now.

[firstaid]

[Hanyuu was mentioning the same thing. That they need to bond together...

She doesn't want to admit this-- she's really only told Mikazuki this, but--]

Elda... if we escape... and if we go home... I... think I'm going to die.

[And that terrifies her. Here she feels like she can fight, but... her memories... they all tell her she's going to die.]

[matchbreaker]

[ . . . Oh.

She didn't see that coming. But maybe she should have. That same fear had been part of what motivated Gold and Silver to make the choice they did. The woman continues to spin the queen and the other card in her hand, but one of her hands lowers to draw her nail along the table, going towards Estelle. ]

You needn't be returned to that same time and place, I would imagine.

[firstaid]

If I could return to the time before all this happened, I... I would change so much. I... would make sure that I wouldn't kill Belius, I would make sure that I wouldn't have gotten kidnapped by someone I trusted and called my friend. That way... that way... I wouldn't be forced in a situation where... my friends... my comrades... they wouldn't have to kill me. I put them in danger simply because of who I am: A Child of the Full Moon. I... am a poison. A walking, living poison.

[There you go Elda, you reached Level 4 Friendship and unlocked her tragic backstory. CONGRATS!]

[matchbreaker]

[ A poison?

She'd referred to that moon thing before, the other day. Elda didn't get it then and frankly she doesn't get it now. More to give her hands something to do than anything when Estelle speaks, she lays down the Queen and discards her last card, winning the hand.

... Of course, the game is immaterial. ]

The devil does that mean? Poison? What's being from the moon got to do with any of that?

[firstaid]

I believe we're a race of people. Most people can't use magic, but we... I can. I may be the only one of my race alive. No, that's not quite right. There must be more, but I received the power of the Child of the Full Moon in full. Just by existing, I'm actually causing an imbalance of Aer... something that if not balanced correctly will kill my world. Phaeroh said so and he wished me dead. I killed his sister, after all. I... I don't blame him.

My friends, they defended me but... I don't know if they can any longer.

[Hopefully that makes things make more sense? Or maybe she made it more convoluted. Who knows?]

That... was likely the reason I was locked in the castle for the first eighteen years of my life.