trusthell | Week 6.

Week 6.

WEEK 6
The number of Survivors left is dropping at a quick pace; the King got what he wanted, for better or for worse; Tarrlok and Lynne were victims of both fate and some sort of magic that most in the Vault still don't quite understand, and Misa Amane has been executed, not for her particular brand of "justice", but for murdering two innocent people.

It's been a bad week.

However, Saturday is given to regrouping and sleep; there aren't any bodies to be found on Sunday morning. But that doesn't mean the night was uneventful - it seems something else may have brought you some newfound clarity. Or perhaps not...

Once again, that spiral staircase leads farther than you remember, clear up to a previously inaccessible sixth floor. Go ahead and explore as much as you like; you've done well. You've earned it.

SURVIVORS REMAINING: 14

SUNDAY | MONDAY | TUESDAY | WEDNESDAY | THURSDAY
[OOC: Welcome to week six of Trustfell! Save your threads for coins and the coming week's activity check; don't forget to check in to this week's activity check and submit your memory regains!

The text and calling posts are still active, for the sake of contacting the jerk who's keeping you here, to be used at your leisure!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ ...jesus christ on a hotdog bun, Yosuke, you are a hot fucking mess. ]

It's fine. [ To interrupting or to scotch? Both, probably. ] I wasn't—gonna, I guess. I was just thinking about it.

[ He doesn't have to look at his half-empty bottle to pick it up, but he does anyway, because he doesn't really want to look at Yosuke, either? ]

Sorta wanted t'know if he'd be willing to make good on any of incentives from before. I don't know if I could go through with them, but it might be good t'know just in case someone else does. [ A small sip of scotch. ...it tastes so bad to him right now, it's a good fucking scotch but it just. ] You know?

[Black sounds almost too relaxed, and Yosuke can't tell if it's the booze or him hiding something. After last night he can't tell anything for sure.]

...that's kinda a... specific question...

[ ...Black hums in agreement, keeping his head down. ]

Guess so. But if you're not specific, he won't answer. [ His nose scrunches, like he's had experience with this. ...he has, because who fucking hasn't at this point. ] He might not answer anyway. He likes playing twenty questions.

Yeah, I noticed. [He sits on the edge of the bed.]

Just... I doubt you'd be asking if you weren't thinking about it.[There's no judgement- after all, they all had at one point or another]

I... [ It sounds like something's stuck in his throat, and it doesn't sound any better when he clears it like, twice. How awful. ] I've thought about them a lot. Really. Some of them.

[ Blood for the blood god aside. ]

And about why I didn't try any of those times. [ The tiniest glance at Yosuke. ] And why I think I couldn't do them now. It's nothing really sappy or anything, just, I...

[ ...need another drink, apparently, because instead of finishing that sentence he's going to take another and sigh. ]

He probably wouldn't do them again. No fun the second time around or something like that. "You missed your chance," maybe.

Sounds like something he'd say, yeah. And ending in a 'Is that all, Enforcing?'

[It's a pretty good mimic at least? In tone if not actual voice]

So no dreams that changed your viewpoint? [It thanks to Cherryblod that he suspects something is up- everyone but him seems to be dealing with awful memories today]

[ Well, going by the way Black immediately takes another slow drink to keep from answering immediately, that's the nail and you hit it, boy.

How does he even go about... this... Very carefully, apparently, once he's figured out what to say that isn't going to immediately earn him some look. ]

There's just not a point to it, not even last week's. [ And that's the whole ~undo anything~ incentive! ] That's all.

...

[That kinda counters what he said last night. For Black there was always a point. The most important point, and Yosuke gives him a Look]

Don't lie, dude.

[ He still got a Look, that's great— ]

My sister's gone this time for real and there's nothing I can do about it because it's better for everyone involved.

[ THAT'S... all in one breath, and he's just going to flop back on his bed with it. And smack his head into the wall with a yelp. By some miracle the only thing that doesn't go wrong for him is his alcohol, that stays perfectly fine, thanks.

...so yes, there goes his Most Important Point. ]

I can't live without her, Yosuke, she's all I have left, and she's gone—she's been gone this entire time and I... I can't do it.

[Shit. Shitshitshit.

When Black flops back he surges forward, half scrambling across the bed and making everything jostle even more. He's just gonna... try and take that booze. Dude, he doesn't blame you for drinking right now but you are gonna hurt yourself]

...fuck, Black...

[ Don't take his booze, he needs it—no, it actually gets taken quite easily, mostly because Black has to curl up on his bed and turn away. Hands are needing for holding his sides because he knows what he's told Yosuke and how much all of this is going to actually suck. ]

Right? [ A horrible laugh. ] I don't know how I could be so fine with doing it, but I was, and it saved a whole city, but who cares! Who cares. Who

[ that laugh again, even if it's reaaaally hurting his head to have ]

cares. I just... I want my sister back. [ And quieter, but not quiet enough that Yosuke can't hear: ] She'd hate me if I tried though, I think. She was smiling like she was perfectly okay with what I had to do.

[It's exactly what he feared for Cherryblod when he saw him this morning. Only worse, so much worse because he KNOWS what Black might do. He puts the scotch aside, and before he can talk himself out of it just... lays down too.

Cherryblod isn't the only one that can give hugs okay, even if his is rather rough and maybe squeezing a little too hard. He doubts Black is capable of caring right now]

[ It's rough and a little too hard, but Yosuke'd be right: he really doesn't care right now.

He's quiet too, which is either the best thing in the world or the most worrying thing—aside from his sniffles and occasional whimper, there's not a single word until he turns around to face Yosuke with teary red eyes and a flush that's worked itself up in his upsetness. When he talks, it's punctuated by hitched breath and a few coughs. ]

This isn't the first time my sister's died. She died three years ago, too, but my parents, they—they saved her life by tying her life to the barrier they sacrificed themselves to help make. The barrier, it's—the thing keeping Hellsalem's Lot City from collapsing any further into the Alterworld. It's a really good thing. A ton of Casters died for it, and a ton more Casters are looking into what caused it in the first place, and there's some higher up keeping the barrier working so that another collapse doesn't happen again.

I think [ he pauses, uncertain, his tone more careful now because even he isn't completely sure thanks to about two or three weeks of missing memories ] another one happened, anyway, and it might have been my fault—or technically, it's the fault of the guy I made a deal with three years ago. Our agreement was that he could use my body however he wanted—including my psi powers—as long as he didn't harm my sister in any way.

So much for that. [ A laugh that doesn't sound as hysterical or horrible as before, but sort of hollow. Not really there. ] He'd have to hurt her to break the barrier on her heart. I don't know how he found the others—they're not even common knowledge among the Casters at all, and I'm only an investigator so I was never told—but he did, I guess. They got fixed before Mary's—White's—did.

[ Inhale, exhale. This is a hell of a lot more depressing than just last night. ]

I don't know why I didn't just say, "screw everyone, I'll fix my sister instead of the barrier" since I'm sure after all that, I didn't have enough energy to do both, but I apparently went, "screw my sister, I'm fixing the barrier," and she was okay with that and I hate myself so, so much, Yosuke.

['You saved a lot of lives'

But that sounds hollow even in his own head. And while he was able to half bullshit something for Cherryblod he can't do it for Black- what could he even say? Nothing that would mean anything, not really. Black had outright told him that no number of lives were between him and getting back to White.

Only apparently there was a number. Or something. Maybe he just couldn't bare to face White afterwards. Yosuke can't say- though it is the reason he had refused any of the incentives that would save someone.]

You... must have had your reasons.

[Either to save the city or to honor White's decision or hell, who knows. But there had to be something. He rubs his hand up and down Black's arm, like he's a panicked horse or something- it's dumb, but he has to be doing SOMETHING with his hands right now. This is so beyond him, and that little yellow eyed part of him wants to run, to bolt out the door and hide in his own room because he is so utterly over his head and useless. Yu would know what to do. But he's just... him. And he can't help]

I'm sorry... god, I'm so sorry.

[Sorry for his loss, sorry he can't do anything.]

[ What reasons could there even be? Maybe White said something to him. Maybe he selfishly decided that his life was even above his sister's. He'd said that a number of times here already anyway—that he valued his own life over everyone's else's (for his sister), so maybe he thought that, too, then and—

there's no way. The rubbing is nice though, something to concentrate on that isn't "I'm the worst older brother in the entire world." He laughs, a little better than before, but only because it's in disbelief. ]

You don't have anything to be sorry about, Yosuke.

[ It's not his fault he can't do anything. It's not his fault Black's literally the worst older brother in the entire world. It's... sort of Yosuke's fault that he's being told all this, and Black knows this is way above his pay grade because he's been on the receiving end of this several times now. ]

I'm the one who should be apologizing—I shouldn't have dumped all of... that on you.

[ And really it shouldn't be so surprising that the first thing he does after spilling his guts is immediately backpedal into apology territory. It also shouldn't be surprising that he's going to try... putting some distance between them, considering the same thing's happened every time he's had some close moment with Yosuke. (He really likes the guy, and he really doesn't want to fuck anything up.) ]

I pressed you on it.

[Not that he had expected all this, but still. If he really didn't want to know he should have walked away as soon as things got heavy. Same as the night before.

But he didn't]

Plus... I dunno, you can't hold this in. I'd be a pretty shitty friend if I didn't even try to listen.

[Black pulls away... and Yosuke is pretty sure that's his sign to sit up. To stop laying around in someone else's bed like he has the right to, even if it was something he had done on impulse. But he can't bring himself to move just yet either]

Edited 2016-04-04 15:46 (UTC)

[ He probably could have held it in and just cried himself out like he'd done the first couple of months after he lost his parents, putting on a smile in front of other people and not spending too much time talking about anything. It might've been weird here—he has friends here, in a surprising turn of events—and harder, but he...

...he couldn't have actually done it, he's realizing. There'd been a reason he'd been avoiding Yosuke all day, after all. And Cherryblod. And Sigrun. They're three people he knows he would've broken in front of, and that happened. Black sighs, sitting up just enough to slide his glasses of his face so he can set them aside. They'll need to be properly washed off at some point—tear residue does not come off easily, thank you salt—but right now isn't the time.

He knows he looks silly without them, especially since he has to squint, but it's better than trying to look at Yosuke through shitty stained glasses. ]

Thank you. I wouldn't have blamed you for leaving, but... [ A hard swallow; this is last night all over again, except worse. His fingers twitch between them, really wanting to hold something, before they just tighten in the sheets as a compromise. ] I'm really glad you didn't. It means a lot to me.

[ That feels so lame to say, and it's not even the half of it. ]

I wish I could make it up to you somehow. [ ...he still has alcohol, but is that a good idea. Is it. ] Any requests?

[He watches Black's hand clench, fascinated. His own fingers jitter out a nonsense beat against the sheets that 'sound' suspiciously like the opening cords to the song he learned just that morning, too nervous to do more then that, dancing just out of reach.]

Don't... don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure that isn't how this works.

[Whatever 'this' was]

It's not a trade- I'm pretty useless but I... wanna be here. So- [He shrugs, unable to articulate beyond that]

I want you to be here, too.

[ That—wasn't supposed to come out, and if it was it definitely wasn't supposed to be in that soft, slightly desperate, slightly wistful tone the leading couple in romance movies have.

That's all probably pretty easy to read in Black's wide eyes and held breath, in the way his knuckles get a little whiter and... he fucked up, this isn't kissing Yosuke but it's still a little too far over the line for it to be just friendship. He might suck at having friends but he knows friends don't go "I want you to be here too" to each other in that way, because he's whispered the same thing in the same tone to the few (not friend) relationships he's had when he was younger. ]

[Yosuke is the master of denial- hell, his shadow outright accused him of it. But even he can't deny that look, that tone. Yosuke sucks in a sharp breath.

'This is your last chance to make a run for it'

Maybe not literally- but he could back up, put some distance. Keep his friendship right in the safe and comfortable. It's what he had done with Yu, after all. But to be fair, his best friend was so subtle in everything he did that Yosuke was never sure. But... he's pretty sure, right now. And losing the long held terror- a month of trauma does a lot in making you reevaluate your life.

He didn't want what happened with Saki to happen again- he knows now she never really cared for him, but he would never stop regretting never saying something. He's not that bold yet, but... even if he just admits something to himself that's enough for now.

His fingers stop drumming, and he just... kinda tilts the back of his hand against Black's clutching fingers]

Well, then I guess I'll be here as long as you want, okay?

[ Oh, he didn't fuck up.

Or maybe he did, and it just isn't showing itself yet. Black isn't sure which one it feels like or which one he thinks it is or which one he wants it to be. He sighs slowly, fingers gradually loosening, and it feels nice to breathe again. Even with his heart jumping between his heart and his stomach. ]

Okay. [ More than okay, actually. As long as he wants, huh? It's a nice offer, and the red in his face can at least be attributed to crying like a baby ten minutes ago and drinking almost two bottles of booze instead of... anything else. ] ...I'd like to ask you to stay the rest of the night, but I think Miss Sigrun's going to end up checking in on me, and I don't want her to get the wrong idea.

But [ he clears his throat, closing his eyes ] a little longer isn't going to hurt anyone, I think? She's not sneaky or anything either, so we'll be able to hear her tromping down the hall.

Mmmhm.

[He relaxes his head against the pillow, still feeling a little jittery, but slowly starting to relax. He's sure Black needs to sleep, and if it would assure that he'd have been happy to stay. But... yeah, he doesn't wanna answer any questions either. He's not sure he won't say something REALLY stupid if he's pressed.]

I can do that.

[ He'll rest easy until they hear Sigrun coming and then he has to pretend he wasn't laying in close quarters with his crush— ]

You're really nice, Yosuke. [ He's only ever joking about Yosuke being a douche; he's a stupid teenager with really strong morals sometimes, but he's never deliberately mean or a jerk. ] I'm glad I got to meet you, even if it's under really shit circumstances. Is that weird to say?

[ ...also three guesses as to who he picked up the bad language from and the first two guesses don't count you fucking teenager. ]

[he squirms a little, nuzzling into the pillow as if hiding. But all he manages to really do is make his hair stick up in wild angles. Yosuke will never get used to such casual compliments]

S'not the weirdest thing you've said.

[ Black opens his eyes to watch, giggling softly. Is that his bedhead? It's totally adorable. And silly looking. ]

Yeah? What's the weirdest thing?

[ There's probably a lot of them, thinking on it, but like, the absolute weirdest. ]

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